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As I tightened the linkages around my waste a deep instinct flooded my brain as if released from a crashing damn. That rope was the very fine line between the fear of certain death and crippling curiosity. At this instant and without further reflecting I was inexplicably pulled to the other side, leaving behind any apprehension and suspicion that ever inhabited me.
Like a mindless body, devoid of soul and reason I stepped hastily to the edge, and without the shadow of a thought, my body leaped.
There was silence. Only broken by the occasional flap of my harnesse’s fabric straps against my thick waterproof ranger pants. Most interesting was the view from this ever-falling perspective as the rocky walls flew by at increasing speed. My headlamp’s beam was being swallowed by these dark slabs only reflecting in the occasional humid crystalline concretions that shined bright like a shower of shooting stars flying upwards around my ragdoll body. I was finally getting there, my fingers reaching for the emptiness beyond. In a quick whipping motion, the rope slashed through my shirt biting into the skin like a snake. As it finally reached its full length and tension my fall was brutally interrupted and my body snapped in half as the harness tore deep into my waist. The trance broken by the violent impact, I lay there like a condemned insect suspended in the spider’s silk.
I slowly regained consciousness as a thin stream of blood from my ribs rolled over my eyelid.
Submerged by the sudden rush of adrenaline I forget the struggling moments recovering a vertical position. I retain vague memories of the excruciating ascent all the way to the open cavern.
Against all odds, I was given the force to drag my scarified body back to the ledge where I had earlier disposed of my equipment. Whatever happened to my soul at that crucial moment would have to be dealt with and I couldn’t let my vulnerabilities compromise any further descents.
These were my thoughts as I was mechanically going through the contents of the emergency pack. Yet the more I looked the less I knew what I was looking for. It seemed that thought and purpose were evaporating from my mind like remnants of dreams upon waking up. I remember instinctively bringing my fingers to my side and then down to my waist to find nothing out of the ordinary. I got back to organizing my climbing gear and untightened my harness.
